When someone tells us we are being over sensitive, or that we are “overreacting”, who are they comparing us to? Some idea of how most people would react? How do they know, and what difference does it make? All that matters is how WE are reacting, and I would suggest that our feelings about things are perfect, simply because they are incomparable.
When someone tells you that your feelings are somehow “wrong”, it’s a big red flag. They want you to feel the way they wish you felt, or the way that is more comfortable for them, instead of dealing with the actual truth. It’s like someone telling you that you’re too hot or too cold, or that your favourite number is wrong. How do they know??
The truth is that your feelings are perfect…for you. If I am in a group of people and something happens, and someone asks “I wonder how Bob would or should react to that” all they need to do is see how I AM reacting and they have their answer.
You are the only being on this planet who experiences the world in the unique way that you experience it. Sometimes it might be how “most people” experience it, and sometimes you might be the only person on the planet who experiences it a certain way. We can make a rule to not let anyone judge our feelings, but the toughest critic is always us.
Traditional parenting tells us how we should and shouldn’t feel all the time (eg -“be nice”, “don’t be angry”, “go hug your Uncle Fred”) so of course we internalize this and judge ourselves. It’s exciting to give ourselves the unconditional love and acceptance we might not have gotten as children, and celebrate however we feel.
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