Dr. Bob’s Personal Letter to Parents
Dr. Bob knows how painful the post-seperation process can be, and he’s written a personal letter to parents going through this difficult process to express his feelings.
To read Dr. Bob’s letter click here.
Dr. Bob’s Position On Equal Shared Care
Equal shared care is a legal / equitable principle and is reminiscent of the story of King Solomon offering to cut a baby in half. In that story, two mothers were disputing parentage of a baby and the King said the only fair solution was to cut the baby in two and give each woman one half. This was an equitable solution at law. One of the mothers broke down and said she would rather spare the child and give up her “rights”, and that is how the wise King identified the real mother.
Equal shared care is our modern day equivalent of the King Solomon story. Being denied a “psychological home” has significant emotional and developmental ramifications for children. Being denied a logistical home has significant practical ramifications. Typically, long after Mum and Dad have settled into comfortable new lives, perhaps with new partners and families, the children still have to deal with going between two homes and balancing the delicate emotional issues that inevitably result. This is blatantly unfair, since the children are never the ones responsible for the separation. It is certainly not in their best interests.
The following article “Shared parenting legislation is not in the interests of the children” is from a paper published by the Department of Social Policy and Intervention at the University of Oxford and funded by Nuffield Foundation, 26 May 2011.
Dr. Bob’s 8 Tips for Parenting after Separation
To read Dr. Bob’s tips click here
Gold Standards For Family Report Writers
Dr. Bob and other professionals on the Sunshine Coast have been extremely concerned about the process by which family reports are prepared and provided to the court. Often, family report writers only spent an hour or so with each parent, and a few minutes observing the children, and then based on that minimal information, make a recommendation that is afforded significant weight by the court. Sometimes the family report writer is not trained in child development or child psychology, and may not appropriately interpret his or her observations.
In 2009 and 2010, Dr. Bob was involved with Lifeline in developing the “Gold Standards” for family report writers. Family reports written using the “Gold Standards” involve extensive contact with the family, including meeting with the children in their own homes where they are comfortable, and developing a rapport with the children. The objective is to try to understand their emotional, psychological and developmental needs. This process involves more work for the family report writer.
Dr. Bob believes if we truly care about protecting and supporting children in this process, the least we can do is take the time and effort to really get to know the family (and others who know the family well).
Click here to view the “Gold Standards”.
Parenting Plan Template
Parents are able to write their own parenting plan. Once both parties have agreed on the terms and sign the document it becomes an official parenting plan.
A parenting plan is a legally relevant document, but it is NOT a court order and cannot be enforced by a court or by the police. It is legally relevant in two ways: If there is a subsequent court case, the parenting plan can be submitted as evidence. Also, a parenting plan supersedes an existing court order.
Although no specific format is required for a parenting plan, parents are welcome to use the template used by The Parenting Centre which is available here.
Dr. Bob is available to assist parents, individually or together in developing a parenting plan.
Property Agreement Template
Money, time and conflict can be saved if parties can agree on how to distribute property upon separation. Parties can prepare their own agreement in regard to their joint asset pool, and how the assets will be divided / split.
The parties can use the information on this template as the basis for an application to the Court for consent orders. Parties are welcome to use the template used by The Parenting Centre which is available here.
Dr. Bob is available to assist parties in agreeing on a property agreement.
